Change is not a problem. In fact, it’s the only constant thing in our unpredictable lives. The real challenge comes in how we navigate life transitions; how we move when it’s time to shift from one phase of life to another.
Everything in nature moves. Movement is stitched into the very fabric of existence. The earth rotates on its axis while orbiting the sun; together with everything in and on it. The sun also spins on its axis as it rotates at the centre of our galaxy. The Milky Way galaxy moves around in the midst of billions of other galaxies. Nothing in creation stands still.
Beyond cosmic movement, there are shifts in our individual lives too: physical, financial, emotional, spiritual.
So, let me ask you: how are you moving right now? Are you switching jobs or starting a business? Changing career or retiring? Relocating to a new town or maybe, across continents? Are the dynamics of your life changing right now? Are you moving from being single to married, or going through divorce? Transitioning into parenthood, or navigating the empty nest syndrome? Are your finances shifting from a season of stability to struggle, or vice versa? Or you’re struggling to break away from old habits, embracing a new mindset, or deepening your spiritual journey?
Whatever your story, one truth remains: life is very dynamic. There is constant movement which brings about change. And how we move makes all the difference.
Life as a full glass of water
There’s one way I like to picture life transitions; as a glass of water filled to the brim. Our task is to move it from one side of the room to another without spilling a single drop. Sounds tough!
But, that’s exactly how important life transitions are. We want to make it through without any losses or regrets. We want to land at the other end whole. Of course, real life isn’t perfect, but with focus, we can move with grace. Without focus, it’s very easy to get lost in the move.
I learnt this lesson from an incident in childhood. When I was young, going to the movies wasn’t an everyday event like it is today. Movie releases were far between, maybe twice a year, and it was a special outing to go to the cinema. I was 10 years old when a new movie was released at Christmas. It was a movie that explored mysticism, witchcraft, and the victory of good over evil. Not the ideal movie for Christmas but it had featured as a stage act over the years which always attracted a huge crowd. Now adapted into a movie, the festive period seemed socially perfect for its release. I was thrilled when my mum got the tickets to the premier. We were all buzzing with excitement.
On the day, I went with my mum, my siblings and cousins who were spending the holiday season with us. We were all ecstatic. At the venue, my mum handed everyone their tickets with a stern warning not to lose it. My focus instantly shifted from the company to the ticket in my hand. We were meant to go in, sit and watch the movie together, but as the crowd surged towards the entrance, I lost focus for a split second and lost sight of my family. The crowd was large with too many tall people. I couldn’t see beyond my immediate surrounding and instantly, my excitement turned to dread. I scampered to my left and my right, calling out to my mum but all to no avail.
In that moment I was scared, isolated, unseen, unheard and lost. Even in a huge crowd, no one seemed to notice this lost child. Everyone else seemed happy as they walked towards the entrance in family and friendship groups, holding hands, chatting, cheering and laughing.
But there I was, tensed to my bones, not just from getting lost but with the extra fear of watching a horror movie alone. Non the less, I trudged along with the crowd and entered the cinema. Back then, there were no numbers on cinema seats, we sat randomly. So, every hope of locating my family in the theatre was dashed. I got in and sat down, terrified and sweating profusely. It was my worst movie experience till date. At 10, I sat and watched my first horror movie all alone. Half the time I spent looking over my shoulders for my mum. She was also looking out for me. But unfortunately, the reunion didn’t happen until the end of the movie. That experience left a lasting impact on me.
I carry that memory and the lesson learnt with me till this day. Movement without focus leads to loss. This lesson has helped me tremendously at moments of change in my life. Sometimes these shifts happen within the twinkle of an eye. If you’ve ever experienced a sudden job loss, then you might be able to relate. Other times, they may take longer especially for couples who transition slowly into divorce because of their children’s welfare.
In whichever way life demands a big change from you, here are my tips for moving:
- Define and understand the reason for the change: Ask yourself, “Why am I making this move? Is it a promotion, financial advancement, self-improvement, in pursuit of a dream, for healing, happiness or an adjustment to a new situation which may be positive or negative? Know why.
- Take time to think about it: Important life changes are made with the head not with emotions. Reflect on it and pray about it even if it’s sudden and urgent.
- Plan for it: A big change can feel overwhelming. So, break it into smaller, manageable steps. Think of it as moving that full glass of water one careful step at a time.
- Travel light: Can you move that full glass of water while carrying extra baggage? NO! Sometimes moving forward means letting go of things, and sometimes people that will not serve you on that journey.
- Stay steadfast: While you are on the move, stay grounded, be focused, and keep your balance. Change is not about speed or strength, it’s about steadfastness.
- Finally, get support: No one navigates transitions alone. Talk to mentors, friends, family members or professionals who have walked similar paths. Their perspective might help you avoid unnecessary mistakes, and their support might make the transition smoother.
Personal reflection
Reflecting on that incident over four decades later, I’ve realized that life’s transitions aren’t much different from that crowded cinema entrance. You may be moving with everyone else: your colleagues, peers, friends, and even family members, but if you don’t have your eyes fixed on what matters, you risk losing yourself in the crowd. The worst part is, no one may be able to help you once you’re lost because everyone is also moving their full glass of water.
Therefore, if life demands a move, a change, a transition from one phase to another, be intentional and move with focus. I call it laser focus. Imagine yourself carrying that full glass of water. The aim is not to spill a single drop. It’s possible, if you can stay grounded. My candid advice for anyone going through a major change is: if you can’t focus, don’t move. Otherwise, you will get lost in the crowd.